The art of asking clarifying questions without the other party thinking it’s a form of scrutinizing them when there is nothing between the lines, just a desire for clarity and knowledge. Why do I have to be neurodivergent — direct shouldn’t equate to harm or ill-intent.

I try to start with "Ok so just so we're on the same page..." or some variant of that. If at that point they still have a problem, I don't care, especially if they don't say anything.

I don’t get to move through the world with the same level of privilege as you, but I’m glad your strategy works for you.

It's more of a realization. For a long time I was very worried about how I came across. It wasn't until recently that I understand I'm not responsible for others' feelings or perceptions. It has led to a lot of freedom in this area.