this has sometimes meant going to a gathering and speaking to the “lowest status” person in the room. i remember one particular event that had all kinds of famous inventors with wikipedia pages. i spent two hours speaking to an intern. we are still friends. i have no regrets

Maybe I'm just shy, but networking feels so bad when the purpose is to get a job from it.

It would be so much better if I didn't feel like I'm just asking, but I also don't have anything valuable to share yet.

Does anyone struggle with this too?

Yeah, I actually prefer to learn in that way, from other people and their experience.

Unfortunately, I really feel like I'm asking and asking without giving anything but my attention (because I don't have work experience).

It is interesting that you've said that because I've followed the “networking way” thinking that people were just too busy to build friendships, even though I believe that kind of connection is vague.

It's definitely hard to accept uncertainty in tough times, but supportive friends always make everything easier to deal with.

I really hope that you can find an opportunity soon :)

At first, I felt like I failed (because I wanted a new job and got none), but now, after digesting this experience, I'm pleased with this outcome. My new friends inspire me to become a better person/designer; finding a better job will come naturally with time.

I’m always musing questions that will get us past it lol

I have issues with small talk in business contexts. It always feels like pretending to be interested in something/someone I’m not.

Yeah! I mean for one I feel like we are at a time when it’s urgent to stop treating each other transactionally as much as we have the capacity to. Between loneliness and nihilism and all the fallout from that, I just…

Yes, and I don't believe that many people do this because they like it, probably is because they are in a terrible situation (most financially).

And second I think power loves to shake hands with itself and pat itself on the back. It believes and spreads its own survivor bias narratives. But that’s why I feel so strongly about living in ways that create good ground for collective action, which needs trust and solidarity

These moments are so remarkable! Even if you don't get a form of contact with the other person, somehow you remember them for years

Totally! I really am glad you asked about this btw 

I find that more often than not it comes back in ways that wind up being worth far more to life than only the work part. And most often the work part happens as a side effect too but happily it’s not the main point

I just like… i don’t network. I look for real human connection and nurture relationships over prolonged amounts of time as much as I can. I literally cannot network for the sake of networking or work things, it makes me feel ill

And just a reflection that I had previously, the reason that I've struggled with networking was because I have difficult times making friends (probably shyness). That will be something that I start to improve soon :)

Yes, I have the exactly same feeling every time too, May-li.

The thing is: some influential people says that it's expected to be like this while networking. Maybe I should get away from this thinking for good.

The one I loathe the most is when someone you’re not that acquainted with asks “How’s it going?” 😅

This will eventually land you good things without “playing” the system. Networking for networking sake feels outdated and I’m not comfortable either.

Yeah, it's hard... because I had been trying to get into my area for over a year, I ended up blinding myself to the "tips" of people who were successful, but who may not have the same values as me.

I feel like this too. I attended Config, and my secondary goal was to find a new job. I ended up with no job because I couldn't “sell” myself because I kept thinking I didn't have anything otherworldly interesting to sell, but I left SF with many incredible friends.

and frankly it is depressing when i realize someone only ever spoke to me because i was useful in the moment for their climbing du jour

I don’t know if this would help, but for me, getting a job has been a byproduct of networking and not the goal. The goal is to learn from other people, learn from their mistakes and ask them questions like, books they like or lessons they’ve learned over the years.

Of course all this depends on need as well… if the hustle is for the money and bennies cos of rent and bills then hey we all gotta play the game sometime. but idk… i am cautious of buying into all the stories

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