I just like… i don’t network. I look for real human connection and nurture relationships over prolonged amounts of time as much as I can. I literally cannot network for the sake of networking or work things, it makes me feel ill

Yes, I have the exactly same feeling every time too, May-li. The thing is: some influential people says that it's expected to be like this while networking. Maybe I should get away from this thinking for good.

Yeah! I mean for one I feel like we are at a time when it’s urgent to stop treating each other transactionally as much as we have the capacity to. Between loneliness and nihilism and all the fallout from that, I just…

And second I think power loves to shake hands with itself and pat itself on the back. It believes and spreads its own survivor bias narratives. But that’s why I feel so strongly about living in ways that create good ground for collective action, which needs trust and solidarity

Of course all this depends on need as well… if the hustle is for the money and bennies cos of rent and bills then hey we all gotta play the game sometime. but idk… i am cautious of buying into all the stories

and frankly it is depressing when i realize someone only ever spoke to me because i was useful in the moment for their climbing du jour

Yes, and I don't believe that many people do this because they like it, probably is because they are in a terrible situation (most financially).

I don’t know if this would help, but for me, getting a job has been a byproduct of networking and not the goal. The goal is to learn from other people, learn from their mistakes and ask them questions like, books they like or lessons they’ve learned over the years.

Yeah, I actually prefer to learn in that way, from other people and their experience. Unfortunately, I really feel like I'm asking and asking without giving anything but my attention (because I don't have work experience).

I feel like this too. I attended Config, and my secondary goal was to find a new job. I ended up with no job because I couldn't “sell” myself because I kept thinking I didn't have anything otherworldly interesting to sell, but I left SF with many incredible friends.

At first, I felt like I failed (because I wanted a new job and got none), but now, after digesting this experience, I'm pleased with this outcome. My new friends inspire me to become a better person/designer; finding a better job will come naturally with time.

It's definitely hard to accept uncertainty in tough times, but supportive friends always make everything easier to deal with. I really hope that you can find an opportunity soon :)